MMeM, Vol. 14 Issue 4 – Clockwise

Posted on by Posted in Life of Dad Leave a comment
…prepare for blank stares.

Millennials, they are punch lines for us olds these days aren’t they? We just can’t understand how things we take for granted are so foreign to them. On the other hand, they feel the same way about us for many of the new technology some of us struggle with today. Look, getting old is hard. It’s a constant series of gut-checking adjustments and reminders that nostalgia and history are dead or dying. As olds, we just have to learn to LET IT ALL GO. It’s gone, it’s over. Whatever was, isn’t anymore.

Still, some of the things from the past are so hard to accept as extinct. Take analog clocks for example. Not only did we all grow up staring at analog clocks in schools for 18 years, longing for the hour of 3pm and later, but we had wrist watches, and our grandparents had coo-coo clocks with birds that would pop out when the two hands did things! We learned how to tell time with analog clocks and say things like, “It’s ten past three” or “It’s twenty to eleven”. There was “a quarter after one” and “half past nine”, it was all so grown up!

Well, there is talk of schools in the UK and some states in the U.S. DOING AWAY WITH ANALOG CLOCKS because “students are struggling to read them“. Ugh. Really?

So, just think of all the things you do in life where you say to someone, “Turn it counter-clockwise”. Yeah, prepare for blank stares. Sorry, prepare for MORE blank stares.

The very near future:

MMeM, Vol. 14 Issue 3 – a hard place

Posted on by Posted in My take on... Leave a comment
slab and a hard place

So we are always told by science about the dangers of the sun and skin cancer. Use sunscreen, no exceptions, especially if you are in or around water. Following these guidelines as we are told, many of us know our SPF needs better than our own blood types.

But, apparently many sunscreens contain chemicals that aren’t safe or friendly to the environment. Case in point, the coral reefs in the oceans as you may have heard are dying at an alarming rate. I don’t care who you are, hearing about this even if you’ve never snorkeled around an ocean reef gives you a sick feeling. Helpless and hopeless are the only feelings that come to mind for me.

Subsequently, officials in Hawaii have proposed legislation to ban sunscreens that damage sea life, i.e. coral. “Environmental groups and lawmakers gathered Wednesday at the Capitol in support of a bill to ban coral-damaging sunscreens.”

Thus, we find ourselves between a hard place and a hard place, because I don’t think there are those among us that like the term “rock & a hard place” anymore. Ok, “slab and a hard place”.

MMeM, Vol. 14 Issue 2 – Flat Earth?

Posted on by Posted in My take on... Leave a comment
HOW is this possible ?

What is the reason or purpose of the Flat Earth Society way of thinking anyway? I mean seriously, what is the end goal here? Are Flat Earthers saying that the Earth is flat and there has been a more than 500 year conspiracy going on to hide this fact? If so, why? What would be the benefit to keep this a secret from, anyone? Why would all governments make sure that all high altitude pilots, astronauts, people with telescopes, and humans with IQ’s higher than 80 keep this a secret?

Usually, there is some hidden agenda by a secret power-playing-organization to control such a huge secret for hundreds of years. But with this one, I’m coming up with nothin’. No reason.

So, who are the Flat Earthers? Well, apparently they are largely composed of “Millennials”. I’m sorry, but recent surveys reveal it. I know it’s a shock to me too. I mean, the same generation that has brought forth the “The Cinnamon Challenge”, the “Tide Pod Challenge”, and most recently the “Condom Snorting Challenge”. Yeah the results surprised me too. I just don’t know what to say other than always being connected to an infinite amount of information is simply dangerous. While we first thought this was a recipe for extreme intelligence, it has instead proven to produce expansive vacuums of empty craniums (craniums, niums, iums(echo))) .

YouGov.com asked the question of 8,215 US adults on Feb 6, 2018. Results are weighted to be representative of the US population.

In short, “Just 66% of millennials firmly believe that the earth is round”. How, is this possible?

MMeM, Vol. 14 Issue 1 – Real People, Not Actors

Posted on by Posted in Business, Sadvertising
REAL PEOPLE, NOT ACTORS?

D

uring my involuntary vacation this past Fall, I watched the Olympics and other programming during the hours, days, weeks, and months of mining for employment. Over and over again, I saw commercials. The same mundane commercials. One set of them was exceedingly ridiculous time and time again. You’ve seen them. Trust me, you have and you still are.

It’s a car company bragging about their customer satisfaction survey results conducted by J.D. Power & Associates. Now, a word about J.D. Power & Associates. Here’s the deal. If you worked for J.D. Power as an environmental engineer, i.e. a Janitor, your resume automatically jumps up among the thousands tearing through auto fed computer scanners. It’s just the way things are. People are lazy, we know this.

Anyway, this car company has decided that they can’t just communicate their results because, well, they take the buyers of their automobiles for, oh I don’t know, “Not bright?” So, they have ad agencies dream up the most ridiculous commercials on Earth evAr. For example, there’s the one where a group of “REAL PEOPLE, NOT ACTORS” are walking around an SUV commenting about it when all of a sudden a door opens up and OH MY GOSH, there are members of their family inside! It’s like a miracle has happened! These REAL PEOPLE, NOT ACTORS are acting like they are seeing long-lost relatives who they thought were dead or something! Who knows, maybe that was the case based on their reactions I guess?

My most hated one is where they have a table set up on a 6 lane interstate in the middle of rush hour. The host of the group is talking to them about traffic and vehicle safety and then reaches under the stupid card table and pulls out a J.D. Power & Associates award! Oh MY GOSH! HOW EXHILARATING while you’re sitting at a table in the middle of a busy interstate like a bunch of dopes. But these REAL PEOPLE, NOT ACTORS act so thrilled and amazed to see this award, at this moment!

Look at this woman’s reaction!

Are you kidding me? Now, had the guy pulled out a leprechaun sitting on a pot of gold, maybe, but a customer satisfaction survey? No, not buying it.

MMeM, Vol. 13 Issue 47 – Thank you drone!

Posted on by Posted in Contraptions
Again, I can’t say it enough,

So I’m not sure who to thank for this laugh, the person in the clip or the person(s) who posted it to YouTube.

Dateline: Western France during a castle tour. Thankfully, someone in the tourist group decided to bring a drone equiped with a camera. While touring the grounds of this particular chateau, the visitors found themselves posing for the drone that was flying around. Some chose to make funny faces and really ham it up for the camera.

Again, I can’t say it enough, thank you for all of the above.