Category Archives: Contraptions

MMeM, Vol. 13 Issue 47 – Thank you drone!

Again, I can’t say it enough,

So I’m not sure who to thank for this laugh, the person in the clip or the person(s) who posted it to YouTube.

Dateline: Western France during a castle tour. Thankfully, someone in the tourist group decided to bring a drone equiped with a camera. While touring the grounds of this particular chateau, the visitors found themselves posing for the drone that was flying around. Some chose to make funny faces and really ham it up for the camera.

Again, I can’t say it enough, thank you for all of the above.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 39 – Watch out!

I’m sorry, it’s true .

Phones. The truth is we’re addicted to our cell phones. Honestly, it’s not entirely all our fault as USERS. Take the latest greatest technology, use the power of well-funded marketing to get them into USERS’ hands, and let loose the rabid programming dogs to pull everyone into wormholes of paid advertising nestled within entertainment and games. What else would anyone expect to happen?

In real life, I like the saying of “coincidence is when God happens.” In the Internet/Smartphone/Tech World, I say coincidence is when algorithms happen. It’s not an accident. You’re not that cute, smart, witty, or lucky. Trust me. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

Look, all joking aside it’s a problem. Take driving for instance, it only takes a few seconds of inattentive driving and BAM it can alter, change, or end lives.

I saw this week that the Honolulu city council voted to make it illegal for pedestrians, PEDESTRIANS, to use cellphones while crossing the street! Yes, we all know it’s come to this. The city council will dole out fees “between $15 and $99, with the amount rising to a maximum of $500 for multiple offenses. The legislation (bans) the use of cellphones, tablets, handheld video games, digital cameras, pagers and laptops (LAPTOPS?!?!) while walking in a public right-of-way.”

Bravo Honolulu, HI city council! Too bad that you don’t have anything around Hawaii to keep people’s attention other than their DumbPhones.

We all know people who are actually addicted to their DumbPhones. I can honestly say that thankfully, I am not one of those people. I know, I know, something tells me IF anyone is reading this they don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. My piece of advice to those who are, would be to think of leaving your phone aside for hours at a time as a reward for yourself in the future. Think of it as an exercise in delayed gratification. It will give you a little something to look forward to as you schlep through your mundane daily tasks.

That’s how I look at it anyway. Just think of what the algorithms will have cooked up for you the next time to pick up your phone! Yippee!

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 22 – Woopsy Daisy!

…making a situation worse.

Things like this only surprise me in that they didn’t happen to me. This kind of thing is the type of accident that defines my day to day life. When I try to do something pro-active, or when I go out of my way to prevent something bad from happening, inevitably I end up not only failing at the prevention, but actually making a situation worse. Thus proving to myself that perhaps, being re-active isn’t always a bad stance to take.

Dateline – Thursday, March 30, 2017, 250 miles above Earth, in space.

Two astronauts were outside of the International Space Station (ISS) on spacewalks to install a debris shield. Of course this is a much needed piece of equipment these days as it’s estimated that there are upwards of “21,000 pieces of orbiting trash and debris” floating around in the orbit of Earth.

Unfortunately, astronauts Peggy Whitson and Shane Kimbrough, had to report back to ground control that a bag containing the debris shield floated away. The shield was 1.5m, or about 5ft, long and now makes it one of the 21,001 pieces of orbiting trash and debris floating around in the orbit of Earth.

To be fair, the pair of astronauts did get 3 other debris shields installed before losing the 4th one into the darkness of space.

Good thing, because the ISS is going to need those 3 shields now more than ever.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 19 – Re-calculating…

…break on through to the other side.

You know, it’s surprising this type of thing doesn’t happen more often that it does. If you’re like me, you know all too well just how close you’ve come to being the subject of one of these stories.

For example, when you’re really “using” a GPS directional system in your car, it’s probably because you don’t know where the hell you’re going. Subsequently, you’re really paying attention to what it’s telling you to do. You’re glancing at the small 5″ screen that’s pointing directions to go and you’re listening to your voice of choice for instructions. Then BAM all of a sudden you’re inside of a streetcar tunnel!

Dateline – Toronto Transit Commission, Union Station, Toronto, Canada. February 2017.

We’ve all come dangerously close to this, or something pretty similar to it in our respective neck of the woods.

How many times do you think the GPS said, “Re-calculating…” or “Make a U-Turn?” I mean he made it 2,624 feet into this streetcar tunnel. That’s 1/2 a mile! Obviously he was trying to “break on through to the other side”, as a U-Turn was out of the question.

Poor kid. The 21-year-old male got a $425 fine and the car had to be lifted out of the tunnel with a crane normally used for lifting streetcars.

Well, at least no one got hurt, in the car or a streetcar for that matter.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 10 – Reality, really?

…need to be synced more…

Maybe, just maybe, The Matrix, was really on to something. Whether you consider VR headsets or the renowned Neil deGrasse Tyson saying that we are probably living in a universe that is the result of a computer simulation, what is reality anymore?

Well, bills are a reality for me. That’s for sure. But seriously, if in 2017 we are able to strap smartphones to our faces and throw on some headphones to be fooled into states of Virtual Reality, then who’s to say we aren’t all really lying in incubators providing power via our body heat, to our computer overlords?

I think, therefore I am? Really? Or, is that computer code written by robots who knows how many eons ago? And that deja-vu I had the other day, maybe that was a computer glitch, a line of bad code that has gone out of date. Perhaps we’re all like our iPhones and need to be synced more regularly. Sure, we call it “staying regular” in our reveries of caveman days but who’s to say that ever happened either?

Where’s Neo when you need him?