MMeM, Vol. 4 Issue 5 – Vanity Plates & Brain Freezes

How I haven’t mentioned this before is beyond me. A few years ago I decided to move back home to central Illinois from Missouri where I had lived for more than 10 years.

I found another job in Illinois. When I resigned from my employer in Missouri, they graciously offered to find a location in central Illinois so I could continue to work for them. I was touched. Maybe, a little bit too much.

As a way to show my appreciation, I developed a ridiculous campaign to express my gratitude. I’ll spare everyone most of the details and dive right into the most embarrassing aspect.

When I moved to Illinois, I decided I would get some kind of vanity license plate that made a subtle reference to my valued employer. As I was working my way through the DMV, I said that I wanted to order vanity plates. The gruff and highly insensitive state worker said that I had to put down 3 choices. I froze. I couldn’t think of anything. People were waiting in line behind me and I started to sweat. I asked if I could take the form home and send it in later. Ms. Gruff said, “Nope”. So, I jotted down 3 possibilities.

I drove home and immediately began to regret my choices, IMMENSELY. I even called the DMV office and spoke to someone that sounded like Ms. Gruff and begged that she remove my #1 choice. “If I have time and I can find it, I will but I’m not gonna guarantee it.”, was her reply. Ouch. So began the 30-60 day wait for the plates to arrive. What would I get? Finally one day, the new plates came.

Of course, it was ridiculous. I now had to frame every conversation with anyone about theses plates with the aforementioned story above. It was humiliating. One person tried to make me feel better by suggesting that people would probably think I was some big-wig with the corporation! I said, “Truuue…until they consider that I’m driving a ’98 Chevy Tracker!”

Well, I kept the plates for more than a year. Then I bit the $100+ bullet and applied for new plates when I traded in that corporate big-wig vehicle for another car. I’ve since come to realize that so many of my shenanigans end with bills in excess of $100.

I wear myself out.

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