MMeM, Vol. 15 Issue 26 – Not trying

I

remember when I was a kid, late grade school early middle school, I’d find myself at home after school…ALONE! Those were a glorious 94 minutes of complete freedom to do whatever I wanted. Sure, my parents had set light expectations and modest chores after things like homework were attended to, but there were other things to occupy my mind.

Specifically, there was Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch, and Happy Days. During this early 80’s non-streaming TV binging there would be after school hunger. There was plenty to eat in my house. However, I have memories of concocting some of the most awful “sandwiches” on the planet. For some reason, my prepubescent brain would only satisfy hunger with a SANDWICH.

When appropriate meat and cheese to my liking wasn’t available, i.e. American singles and bologna as other meats and cheeses required getting knives and cutting boards out, I would embark on creating my own masterpieces of gastrointestinal abomination. For example, the Wonder Bread, potato chip, ketchup sandwich. Or, when I was feeling extra culinary, I’d add some dill pickle slices to that delicacy and decide to swap ketchup for mustard. It just depended on my palette that day you see.

Enough about my gut travails. I almost drove off the road the other day when I saw this sign. I thought, “Surely, this is a joke. Or, this is some kind of sauce that has the flavor of said snack item!”

I investigated online. They aren’t joking and yes, they have completely given up. It is a Cheetos laiden sauce chicken breast sandwich with…wait for it, actual CHEETOS added. Now Chester Cheetah is playing the Colonel too!

This has to be a ploy to get younger people into the stores to buy KFC right? Err, drive-thrus I mean. Maybe they are thinking the aroma of KFC’s main items will bring them back after checking out the CHEETOS laiden chicken sandwich?

Idiocracy is here, full bore.