MMeM, Vol.11 Issue 5 – Convinced.

…you had me at Jo-Ann Fabrics.

So I was in the local gas/convenience store the other day waiting to pay for a diet fountain soda, while the lines to both registers were getting really backed up. Pacing between both lines very frantically, was a man who was saying, “I can’t believe this, you know I’m old enough.”

By this time, I had surmised that he was upset about being carded for alcohol and the store was telling him that it was their policy to see an ID, no exceptions. For the record, I would have guessed him to be about 22-23. He was a bit rough around the edges. He looked a little scruffy probably a laborer of some kind and he had curly unruly red bushy hair capped with a black stocking cap.

“I just turned in a lottery ticket so you know I have to be at least what, 18? (My inner monologue: “That’s not how that works, that’s not how ANY of this works!”) Come on, you know I’m old enough!” Then fully exasperated he said, “I have to go to this Jo-Ann Fabrics and then Hobby Lobby after that. I’ve just got to have a drink.”

It was at this moment, that my unlucky nature reared its ugly head. As he spun around in between the lines of waiting customers, our eyes met. “I can’t believe this,” he said. As I looked at him, I replied, “I was a doorman at 2 bars in college for a couple of years.” Then I patted him on the shoulder and said, “You had me, at Jo-Ann Fabrics.”

joann-logo

Then I tried to calm him down a little bit as the lines started to move, slowly, and the shift manager was on the phone. I said that the real reason they need an ID is probably because they scan (2D bar code, RFID chip, etc.) it like everywhere else these days. That’s not done to help with DOB checking, “only”, but inventory-in-out legality, i.e. liqour sales pseudo-monitored w/o law physically on site.

Oh, and now welcome all BIG BROTHER BIG DATA GOVERNMENT conspiracy theorists. No, I didn’t say that to my new friend, that’s another post, maybe, for another day.

 

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Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.