MMeM, Vol.3 Issue 1

Midwestern Meditations eMagazine presents, ePonderings (yeah, I just put an “e” in front of something else, deal with it – it’s better than putting an ‘i’ in front of something).

We humans are not half as smart as we think we are. The seriousness and gravitas with which we take ourselves is quite possibly the funniest oxymoron going. For example, take the Internet.

“duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe”

Where am I going with this? Yeah, we’re SO smart. There are 26 letters in the English alphabet. Of those 26 letters, one, exactly one letter has more than one syllable. And, this letter is so special that it has THREE syllables. Yes, it’s the wonderful wacky “W”. Say it with me, “duh-bull-ewe”.

So, continuing with the Internet. We’ve invented it and we’re going to name it. We’re going to call it the World Wide Web and because we’re so smart, we’re going to abbreviate that with the longest letter to speak or write, not once, not twice, but THRICE! Brilliant!

How much air time, and essentially ad dollars, is spent on TV and radio in one year on the phrase, “duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe”? Who could even guess? How much ink, vinyl lettering, fabric in clothes, wood or metal used to make signs, or trees for paper is spent on “WWW”? Or forget advertising, when you’re talking to someone and they start to suggest a web site, do you, like me, hesitate for a split second HOPING they skip the “duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe, duh-bull-ewe”? Yeah, you’re not getting back that mind-numbingly wasted 3.5 seconds. EVER!

Wait, if a Superbowl ad mentions a web site address and we take 2006 Superbowl advertising rates of $2.55 million per 30 seconds then saying 3 double ewe’s in roughly 3.5 seconds costs $728,571.43. Nice.

Yeah, we’re SO smart. It’s a miracle that we as a species even manage to negotiate to the end of every day on this spinning rock.