MMeM, Vol. 4 Issue 14 – Hypermiling
So, I saw on CNN.com the other day this article that had this headline: “Behind the Scenes: ‘Hypermilers’ test limits of fuel conservation”
The dropline next said that Wayne Gerdes was getting more than 50mpg in his conventional non-hybrid car. I thought, “well here is a concept I can get behind.”
Well it turns out that Mr. Gerdes has a website called cleanmpg.com. I clicked on the link and was anxiously anticipating some of the secrets to get great gas mileage. Here are some of the silver bullets of knowledge I learned!!!
Keep a record of your gas millage.
-Well hell yeah I’ll keep a record! I want to know how much I’m saving by using all this hypermiling knowledge!
Take note of your own driving habits. By leaving ample space between yourself
and the car in front of you, there is enough time to coast to a stop and avoid
stepping on the brakes.
-Sure, that seems sound…avoid braking, I’m following you.
Avoid standing still with the engine running.
-Hmm, well I hope I don’t wear out my starter, those things go for a couple hundred. Oh well, I’m with you.
Accelerate gradually, over a greater distance.
-Ok look, obviously this guy has to speak to the unwashed masses. Not everyone knows the basics I guess. Continue please.
You will get better gas mileage if you turn off all electronics as well as the A/C and drive with the windows rolled up.
-Wait a second, I only want to save gas, NOT DIE.
Over inflating your tires, which reduces the amount of rubber on the road, and thus, reduces the resistance on you car. However, because it can also lead to a loss of control, uneven tire wear, and blowouts, it is not for the hypermiling neophyte.
-Mmm-K, see my responses to #3 and #5, again, not wanting to DIE or spend hundreds on tires.
Riding the white line keeps your car out of puddles and grooves in the road made by other drivers, both of which increase drag and decrease efficiency.
-Ok, but I get in trouble with my passengers when I ride the white lines. And did you say avoid “puddles”? Seriously? What am I driving, a tricycle?
Put the car in nuetral and shut it off, coasting to upcoming stops.
-But, my powersteering doesn’t work if the car is OFF. And again, that starter thingy is really expensive.
You shouldn’t haul anything ON TOP of your car, i.e. cargo bins, or other big bulky items tied to the luggage rack.
-Wait a second, is this some kind of a joke…You mean I shouldn’t drive around all the time with this canoe strapped to the roof of my car? Who knew?!?!
Don’t tow things.
-Well son-of-a… NO $#!% Sherlock.
What’s the next suggestion, take a horse and buggy?
I can’t take it. I should have stopped with the original CNN article when THIS was the picture accompanying the story:
Wait, what?
Is this dude PUSHING his car everywhere? Is that Wayne Gerdes? Oh, well I could get maybe 5 mpD, that’s 5 miles per DAY.
They’re not kidding when they say, “It’s not news. It’s CNN.”
Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.