MMeM, Vol.11 Issue 39 – Nix all Pollock jokes

That’s for darn sure !

So I saw this story the other day on MSN.com about the top paid government employees in every state.

Well, it turns out that they end up being, primarily, state university basketball and football coaches. Of course, it makes sense in the same very sad and depressing way the news stories of the U.S. falling behind countries like Poland in national education systems. (That kind of emphasizes the necessity of the retirement of all Pollock jokes in perpetuity).

I thought, “Well, maybe I should consult another source on this”, so I went to USAtoday. Isn’t weird when you type the name of the newspaper USAtoday? It kind of looks like you are saying You Saturday. It’s the Saturday of Newspapers. I digress, the list of the highest paid government employees in every state includes 39 out of 50 that are either public university football or basketball coaches.

Moreover, perhaps said results explain questions that arise from this report. Take the state of Arizona. According to the list the highest paid government employee there is Sean Miller, basketball coach at the University of Arizona, making $3,073,500 per year in salary.

Miller

If that’s the case, why does that picture show a man outside, wearing a coat, and a headset? That looks like a football coach, no? I checked and the football coach at the University of Arizona is Rich Rodriguez and he not only doesn’t look anything like that, but he ONLY makes $2,898,500 a year.

I don’t know, maybe the head coach for basketball uses a headset and holds practices outside at the University of Arizona.

What would I know anyway? I’m from Illinois and our highest paid public employee is the University of Illinois Head Basketball Coach John Groce at $1.7 million and he’s required to wear deer hunting gear for shotgun season at all home games.

Yeah, he’s earning that 1.7. He doesn’t get to wear a cool headset either!

Groce

What would it be like to make FAR LESS than one of your employees? Well, I’d make certain that goofy blaze orange blazer day traditions survive that’s for darn sure!

 

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Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.