MMeM, Vol. 10, Issue 28 – $1.09

…canNOT be that GUY!

I was hot, sweaty, thirsty, and tired while driving the other day. I was almost home but I thought, “Man, an ice cold Coke Zero fountain soda from McDonald’s would absolutely hit the spot right now. So, I pulled into the newest McDonald’s about 1/2 mile from my house. I went through the drive through which was something I haven’t been able to do for about 5 years since my MS had made me legally blind during that time. I take GREAT pleasure in doing these simple lazy American tasks now. I mean, you have NO IDEA how much pleasure I get from the most seemingly mundane things now.

Anyway, I order a large Coke Zero very politely thanking the intercomed hard to understand ubaniked voice and waited my turn to pull forward into the merging drive thru lanes. $1.09 was the total. Simple enough I thought. Man was I wrong. I went to my cash on hand. I had a $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill. My eyes were as big as saucers as I contemplated what to do while monitoring the cars in front of me and their movement vs. non-movement. Change.

I need change. Center console. Center console is under my right arm which is partially detained by seatbelt. I blindly (yes, I’ve gotten fairly talented at this exercise) scrape up a half handful of change from under the sliding trap door in my Honda Ridgeline center console. Ok, next is coin identification.

Watch cars in front. Moving? Slowly, now stopped again. Ok, that’s a big dumb worthless nickel, I’d know that stupid useless coin anywhere. Ridgeless, wide, fat, can’t turn a screw, can’t scrape a scratch-off for crap, costs more to make than it’s worth, has George showing off his fake pony tail and his ugly summer home on the other side coin is 5 cents so now I need 4 more. I need 4 because I cannot, I will not be that guy who gives the McDonald’s tweener a dime and says keep the penny. I also will not, and connot be that guy who gives said worker a dime and then extends his hand wasting his and her energy to exchange a PENNY implying that I NEED that penny, to survive.

In a world with so many apps and computers and technology, how do we get to a point where we sell a soda for a $1.09? What is the point? I would gladly pay McDonald’s another penny just to be charitable to McDonald’s. No? Not ok? Ok, let them funnel all the rounded up extra pennies to charities of their choice. I DON’T CARE. Just help me to limit my potential for drive-thru vehicular mishaps and injuries to others and/or myself for bending twisting and turning while seatbelted in a slow merging lane of Quick Service Restaurant food crazies.

Just me? Probably.

About

Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.