Maybe, I’m <\/span>not the <\/strong>NORM.<\/span><\/div>\n
L<\/span>ast week I erroneously reported on Facebook that I was getting a new iPhone 6 Plus phone screen<\/strong><\/em> from Bodyguardz<\/a> for free. Yeah, not exactly. What I was getting was a new Bodyguardz screen protector for free and I’m thankful for that because that is all that was cracked. My phone’s screen was perfectly fine. I got the new protective screen, as promised from Bodyguardz for free along with a nifty idiot-proof installation kit that ANYONE could use to install it. I went to a place here in town, Mr. Battery<\/a>, that installs new screens on iPhones if in fact they are damaged for $89.95. They took off the screen protector for me to show me that my phone’s screen was, in fact, just fine.<\/p>\n
$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n
$\"\"$ <\/a>After they took off the protector with a nifty little razor blade type screwdriver tool, I said, “Well, I guess that works better than a dinner knife huh?” They were so nice at Mr. Battery that they said I didn’t owe them anything, but I insisted on leaving a $10 bill on the counter as I left. I think they were just happy to get my oldness out of their store as they were onto their next REAL customer.<\/p>\n
All of this is to point out that, I’m not as smart and “IN the Know” as many around me seem to think I am. It reminds me of a Chris Farley SNL skit on Weekend Update<\/em> with Kevin Nealon where he plays a reporter named Bennet Brauer, who says everything self-deprecating in “air-quotes”.<\/p>\n
From said skit, Dateline Season 18 of SNL Chris Farley as Bennet Brauer laments –<\/p>\n
\n
Well maybe I’m not “the norm”.<\/li>\n
I’m not “camera friendly.”<\/li>\n
I don’t “wear clothes that fit me.”<\/li>\n
I’m not a “heartbreaker.”<\/li>\n
I haven’t “had sex with a woman.”<\/li>\n
I don’t know “how that works.”<\/li>\n
I guess I don’t “fall in line.”<\/li>\n
I’m not “hygienic.”<\/li>\n
I don’t “wipe properly.”<\/li>\n
I don’t “own a toothbrush” or “let my scabs heal.”<\/li>\n
I can’t “reach all the parts of my body.”<\/li>\n
When I sleep I “sweat profusely.”<\/li>\n
But I guess the “powers that be” will keep signing my paycheck at least until John and Jane Q. Viewer start to go for the remote so they can go back to watching commentators who don’t<\/li>\n
“frighten children”<\/li>\n
and don’t “eat their own dandruff”<\/li>\n
and don’t “pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school.”<\/li>\n
Thank you Kevin.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Maybe, I’m not the NORM. Last week I erroneously reported on Facebook that I was getting a new iPhone 6 Plus phone screen from Bodyguardz for free. Yeah, not exactly. What I was getting was a new Bodyguardz screen protector …<\/p>\n
MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 18 \u2013 Bodyguardz<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[171],"class_list":["post-2401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-business","tag-iphone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2401"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2404,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2401\/revisions\/2404"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.midwesternmeditations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}