MMeM, Vol.12 Issue 43 – Turkey Day

…but, any way you SLICE it…

Let me be perfectly clear, I abhor the saying of “Turkey Day” in lieu of “Thanksgiving”. “Have a great Turkey Day” or “Happy Turkey Day!” some idiot will shout out to you in passing this week. What I would like to say over my my failed smile is, “Have a nice glass of SHUT-UP!” I don’t know why this annoys me so much, and I know it’s my problem as are so many other issues I deal with these days, but I own it. Step 1, done.

However, while I’m on the stupidly, lazily referred to Holiday of “Turkey Day”, there’s something else about this holiday that crossed my mind the other day. As everyone knows all to well, the divorce rate in the United States constantly hovers around 50% or so. It’s debated by many as to what the true number actually is due to several factors. DivorceStatistics.org gives some further detail that sheds light on the reason why this rate is contested, and why, in theory everyone just throws up their hands settles on the issue by saying 50% of all marriages end in divorce:

  • The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
  • The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
  • The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

Anyway, all of these divorces usually at some point, be it the 1st, the 2nd, or even the 3rd failed marriage are going to involve children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Now, they don’t all create said children, but they do have to account for them and vice versa. So, in all of today’s problems, with climate change, terrorism, Black & Blue Lives Matter, crime, elections, economies, wars, veterans, diseases, the environment, trying to figure out a way to colonize Mars, what about Turkeys?

See, no one has ever mentioned the ongoing war with the Turkey. With all of the decades of marriage failure, Turkeys have really been the ones taking it on the beak so to speak. I mean, how many “Turkey Day” dinners do YOU go to? How many are you expected to go to? There are MULTIPLE huge Thanksgiving smorgasboards going on per fragmented family unit all across this country every year. That’s a hell of a lot of turkeys!

Oh sure, there are the occasional weird families that opt for ham or goose, but any way you SLICE it, some animal is getting gutted and eaten because another marriage failed.

kc85qbbmi

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Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.