MMeM, Vol.11 Issue 7 – YIKES!

…scares the bejesus out of me.

Look, no one appreciates a woman’s beautiful face more than I do. So, suffice to say that I appreciate all of the work the females in our culture put into keeping their beauty at its best. I get it, and I appreciate it. But, there is nothing wrong with aging gracefully either. In fact, that can be an even more impressive expression of beauty, IMHO (In My Humble Opinion).

Anyway, I, like many men am among the most unqualified to ever speak on such topics. However, there are some examples of beauty seeking that even I have to raise my hand, clear my throat, and say, “Holy #@%$# excuse me, what is going on here?”

Jason?
Michael Myers, maybe?

So, I saw this commercial the other day where women, and I suppose some men, could wear these welder’s masks with lights inside them that send intense lights into the facial skin to remove wrinkles. Ok, but the deal was that they were to wear these arc welder masks for like hours at home. The product was made by illuMask and no, I can’t yet decide on what “Mask-iRobot-FridayThe13th” themed analogy to run with on this contraption.

Apparently, there are all kinds of these illumination masks now hitting the market promising all kinds of acne improvement, wrinkle fixes, and skin tone-color balancing. Maybe they do what they claim, but at what cost? Check out some of this stuff>

Ok, this I can tolerate. It's like an inverted tanning bed.
Ok, this I can tolerate. It’s like an inverted tanning bed.

 

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Look, I get scared half to death by the women in my house all the time. Take my daughter for example. She’s just like me in that for whatever reason she has this ability to walk like a cat burglar. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll be in the refrigerator, close the door and BOOM! There she is 2 feet in front of my face, just standing there. I have no idea where she came from or for how long she’s been standing there. Scares the bejesus out of me constantly. Of course, when I don’t have these heart stopping run-ins with her, I always know where she’s been because she leaves a trail of every activity she’s done from one end of the house to the other.

MMeM86a
Oh, an Ibuprofen in the Tylenol? I’ll bet I can guess who was behind this!

She doesn’t leave huge messes mind you, but little traces that prove to me time and again that she will never be an actual cat-burglar at least not one that would ever get away with any actual thefts or mischief. They’d pick her up in about 15 minutes.

So, imagine my fear when I saw this commercial for this unholy wrinkle mask-blemish fixer-upper? YIKES. I’d definitely have a coronary if she ever got one of these for a birthday present or something.

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Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.