MMeM, Vol. 8 Issue 40 – SAY THE NAME! PLEASE!

In my world that wouldn’t change a damn thing.

As is always the case, this one’s on me. I have never known how this musical is said, pronounced, or even referred to at all for that matter. In fact, there may be some secret to the whole thing that part of the story is that the name of the show NEVER GETS SAID OUT LOUD. So, last night I see a commercial showing the very familiar script with this title EVERY FREAKING TIME this comes around.

The voiceover on the commercial goes on to announce that this most successful best musical OF ALL TIME IS GOING TO COME TO THEATERS this Christmas. I’m thinking, “Finally, I’m going to hear how one says this title and I’m going to pay attention!”

In my defense, I’m male. It’s a natural response for me to completely shutdown all sensory inputs when confronted with anything even implying “a musical”. And I was in musicals in High School! But, of course I wasn’t in musicals for the art of it. I was in musicals for the same reason I was in Choir, Band, and Madrigals. They all had girls in them. It’s true, they did.

Maybe the reason the voice over guy on the commercial didn’t say the name of this “musical” was because since it’s the best one ever, surely everyone knows its name, right? Wrong. I have managed to not pick this up my entire life much the same way that I have kept 4 solid long years of Espanol out with the exception of “Where is the library?” Where is the library? Really? Even when libraries still served some purpose who would ever be in a foreign land asking for one where all the books were sure to be in a language other than yours? Stupid.

Ok, well maybe this Christmas there will be a Christmas Miracle of some kind and I’ll finally learn exactly how this damn thing is referred to once and for all. Otherwise, I’ll continue to never refer to it at all and in my world that wouldn’t change a damn thing anyway.

Maybe I’ll continue to see this picture, knowing full well what it refers to, but having no way to even mention it at all. I guess that’s why they always leave the damn words off anyway. Whatever.

MMeM, Vol.8 Issue 39 – When “give up” goes, Ok!

But it actually looks quite nice.

You know that “Season’s Greetings” phrase isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. If you haven’t already gotten used to it, do. The irony of it all is that it exists on a couple of false fronts. First, yes, we should have a separation of church and state, that’s obvious. However, don’t get too high and mighty on that phrase because it actually doesn’t exist anywhere in the constitution.

No, our political correctness brethren fall back on that falsehood without fail all day long. Fine. But, what would they all do if the Government said, “You know what, you’re right. No more IN GOD WE TRUST on anything from the Government. And, while we’re at it, December 25th is no longer a Federal Holiday.” This brings me to my second false front, if anyone starts taking away paid days off it’ll be like, “Hold on there speedracer, let’s have a holiday but give it some meaningless words and terms so as to not offend anybody getting the paid day off.” Yeah, my thoughts exactly. What would you have to call a Holiday that gives me a paid day off that would offend me? What would it take? …..I got nothin’.

I’m no soothsayer, but I’d bet that the roar from the PCers demanding for “Season’s Greetings” and other dumbing down of cultures’ various Festivus-i would calm down a bit.

I was watching some workers put up these “Winter Decorations” at work the other day, in lieu of a “tree” of some kind. This started a year or two ago with the hanging straight down from light fixtures a strand of garland with former “tree” decorations and a few lights creating a straight line. At first I thought this was a way of just going with the seasons with a very “we give up” approach. But, it actually looks quite nice when you take a gaze up at it all. What’s more, these strands only took the work of 4 workers. Imagine how many workers a freaking tree and trimmings must have taken?

And what if we kept the “Christmas Tree” and collectively made it stand for all religions’ winter time celebrations? Can’t you see it now? 50 years into the future, some kids would find out that their Kwanza or Chanukah Tree was really just a Christian symbol forced onto them back in the day.

I can hear it now. The history books are going to be SO rich with how they handle this prickly bit of news.

MMeM, Vol.8 Issue 22 – XLE LS CE SE L

…always wondered what those letters stood for exactly.

You know how cars and trucks have those letters after the model name that seem to indicate something really important? You know, you call the service shop about getting a repair done and they ask for more than just what you said, be it Camry, Ford Tempo, Chevy Aveo, etc. You struggle and reply, “uh I don’t know the engine numbers or piston names (grunt)” and they very flippantly interupt you by indicating they only wanted the LE or XLE letters. “Oh, you say (while running into the garage to look at the side of your car), SE!”

Look I don’t know about you, but I have always wondered what those letters stood for, exactly. After some rough research I can tell you that I believe they stand for “Not much”. One thing I can say is that dealers and manufacturers don’t just display the translation of all the codes. Oh no! To learn that, you need to be @$$ deep in a sales negotiation. And then, you won’t be told what LS stands for but rather, only that it has the sun roof you asked about as well as 4 other things you don’t want and will add about $3,500 to the overall price. I’ve seen it a million times.

What I did find was this rough list that I threw together. Now, some of the codes (I’ll just call them that)I never could find jack. So, I’ve included my own translations. In fact, and our own translation that we’ve added is denoted with a “?” at the end. 🙂

Model Designations
SE – Special Edition or Sucker Everyday?

LE – Limited Edition or Luxury Edition

XLE – Extreme Limited Edition or Extreme Luxury Edition

CE – Common Edition. Ok, now how can you NOT feel bad for the customer who gets one of these bad boys? The “common edition”. Yeah, sign me up!

SE – Sports Edition

L – Loser? Again, what is L supposed to stand for, Limited? Please.

LES – Loser Extreme Slacker? Some of these just right themselves.

LX – Loser External?

XL – Extra Largass? I know I’ll be saddled with one of these, my next car, for sure.

XLS – Extra Limited Sport? So what, this one is REAL rare? Is it ENDANGERED

LS – Luxury Sedon

S – Sap? Suck? or SUX?

One description I take issue with is the word “Limited”. To say that a car is limited is beyond redundant. To the best of my knowledge car manufacturers have never made a 2003 Monte Carlo in 2007. If it had, THAT would be a case of an unlimited model. You could get that year’s model, anytime in any year. Or it could be as simple as meaning we only made a certain number of these cars. Well no $#!+ Sherlock!

One thing I’m sure of is that one of the reasons you can’t find translations for these “codes” anywhere is because they are supposed to be changeable based on the sucker they have on the line at the time. It’s a game you can play, imagine the buyer a Mrs. Carnegie who is going to by a car that you called part of the  Extreme Luxury Series. Then imagine the buyer, Professor Perriwinkle, you would put in the same car but now it’s an Extra Limited Series. Finally, you are selling the same car to Mr. Tailmix and now you call it Extreme Limited Sport.