MMeM, Vol. 9 Issue 44 – Pot, kettle, whatever.

…could take time to review how they do things.

So this week was kind of a slow news week. First you have the Rutgers University basketball story that will not go away and then there’s a slightly less than presidential comment about a female attorney general.



Maybe in slow news cycle weeks like this, some of the “news” organizations could take time to review how they do things.

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Do you see any kind of theme here?

The president’s comment could have offended exactly 7 other Attorneys General. Aren’t there MILLIONS of viewers of these “news” programs that spent a week “reporting” this gaffe?

MMeM, Vol. 8 Issue 40 – SAY THE NAME! PLEASE!

In my world that wouldn’t change a damn thing.

As is always the case, this one’s on me. I have never known how this musical is said, pronounced, or even referred to at all for that matter. In fact, there may be some secret to the whole thing that part of the story is that the name of the show NEVER GETS SAID OUT LOUD. So, last night I see a commercial showing the very familiar script with this title EVERY FREAKING TIME this comes around.

The voiceover on the commercial goes on to announce that this most successful best musical OF ALL TIME IS GOING TO COME TO THEATERS this Christmas. I’m thinking, “Finally, I’m going to hear how one says this title and I’m going to pay attention!”

In my defense, I’m male. It’s a natural response for me to completely shutdown all sensory inputs when confronted with anything even implying “a musical”. And I was in musicals in High School! But, of course I wasn’t in musicals for the art of it. I was in musicals for the same reason I was in Choir, Band, and Madrigals. They all had girls in them. It’s true, they did.

Maybe the reason the voice over guy on the commercial didn’t say the name of this “musical” was because since it’s the best one ever, surely everyone knows its name, right? Wrong. I have managed to not pick this up my entire life much the same way that I have kept 4 solid long years of Espanol out with the exception of “Where is the library?” Where is the library? Really? Even when libraries still served some purpose who would ever be in a foreign land asking for one where all the books were sure to be in a language other than yours? Stupid.

Ok, well maybe this Christmas there will be a Christmas Miracle of some kind and I’ll finally learn exactly how this damn thing is referred to once and for all. Otherwise, I’ll continue to never refer to it at all and in my world that wouldn’t change a damn thing anyway.

Maybe I’ll continue to see this picture, knowing full well what it refers to, but having no way to even mention it at all. I guess that’s why they always leave the damn words off anyway. Whatever.

MMeM, Vol.8 Issue 35 – Male Secret

So, if I don’t “make fun” of you, I don’t like you.

What I am about to do goes against every man card holding right there is. But this is needed. The recent Thanksgiving holiday, or I mean “Turkey Day”, reminded me of all the times at big family gatherings when I would inevitably get in trouble. I would get in trouble for making fun of someone or laughing at someone for something they did or said. Actually, I would always think I was laughing with them and not really at them.

This actually didn’t happen this year. At least I don’t think it did, but I could have already forgotten. At any rate, my point and the big reveal I am making today is this. Men “make fun” of others as an extension or a natural building upon their having made fun of themselves and having run out of material. Laughing with someone, or as many in the opposite gender field would term it, laughing at someone, is really a form of male endearment. It’s true.

Look, to put it quite simply, humor takes effort, thought, set-up, and preparation. It’s work. The pay off is laughing which is good. Again, laughing is good and it is the goal. I am not going to waste all of this creativity and effort on someone or something that I don’t like.

So, if I don’t “make fun” of you, I don’t like you.

Got it? Good.

Don’t get it? That’s fine too. We’re right back where we started, nothing gained nothing lost.

But this is real behind-the-curtain kind of information here. Even the great comedians of all time weren’t brave enough to reveal this secret. They just went on with their successful careers all the while absorbing barbs from so many of the unenlightened.




Me? I like to pretend I’m among great comedic thinkers (I’m certainly not). But, my career is going nowhere, so what the hell do I care?

It’s like Male Rule #3. I’ll leave figuring out numbers 1 and 2 to you and your best guesses.