MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 42 – CAREFUL!

About that, yeah, not so much.

Whether it’s a pair of bathtubs, a sultry woman playing with a football on a bed, or cartoons of irritable bowels and bladders, drug companies and their commercials are deafening. I get that the target audience information for many of these ads says they are for the intended market, BUT honestly, kids do watch these games with their DADS and MOMS on occasion.

Every ad tries to distract viewer from the myriad of side effects often including diarrhea and death with a “day in the life video of the everyman or every woman”. About that, yeah, not so much. For instance, I know that construction regulations call for a plethora of safety guidelines and rules. But, even in a residential construction zone, I don’t think I have EVER seen anyone installing a prefabricated curbside mailbox while wearing a hard-hat!

Stupid, stupid, stupid. The producers, purchasers, and purveyors of these ads aren’t really even paying attention. Everyone, including us, the viewers are kind of hypnotized into stupidity wishing that our game or program would just, come, back, on. Please.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 41 – Get it?

Don’t kid your self,

When you’re driving you probably pay attention to your surroundings, read signs, notice the vehicles in front of you and take note. I was driving, and I use that term loosely, as I was actually parking my way through much-needed construction. You see, after nearly 3 years of no budget in this brain-forsaken state, once one finally gets passed, it’s like that giant iceberg breaking off the Larsen C Ice Shelf. Things start to happen and stand still all of at the same time. PrOgReSs!

I digress, back to my traffic jam. I notice the 18-wheeler in front of me and instead of the typical 1-800-HOW’S MY Driving? I see, “NO PASSING.” “Well, look at me! I’m SOOoo important and I’m going to DEMAND you don’t pass my truck!”

Now, once traffic moves, and I get a better look, I get it and realize that’s not the intended message. However, how many drivers on the roads today do you think don’t get the joke?

I shudder to think. Don’t kid yourself, they’re out there following this semi no matter how slow it’s poking along all the while completely unaware.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 40 – Selfie FAIL

Did you get my selfie?

You had to have seen this didn’t you? Well, yet another inspiring selfie-taker managed to cause a major FAIL. I will say this, at least she didn’t kill herself or anyone else. This time, it only caused an estimated $200,000 in damages. But to be fair, that amount is anyone’s guess.

At any rate, this selfie-fail is one for the Darwin Hall of Fame and well, suffice to say that it’s one pic turned video that shot into viral fame. So I’ll bet she didn’t have to ask her recipient, “Did you get my selfie I sent from the museum?” Reply- “Oh the one that was on the NEWS? Yeah, got it.”

Which would be worse, accidentally starting a giant domino display or knocking over a glass art display inadvertently arranged in a domino style layout?

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 39 – Watch out!

I’m sorry, it’s true .

Phones. The truth is we’re addicted to our cell phones. Honestly, it’s not entirely all our fault as USERS. Take the latest greatest technology, use the power of well-funded marketing to get them into USERS’ hands, and let loose the rabid programming dogs to pull everyone into wormholes of paid advertising nestled within entertainment and games. What else would anyone expect to happen?

In real life, I like the saying of “coincidence is when God happens.” In the Internet/Smartphone/Tech World, I say coincidence is when algorithms happen. It’s not an accident. You’re not that cute, smart, witty, or lucky. Trust me. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

Look, all joking aside it’s a problem. Take driving for instance, it only takes a few seconds of inattentive driving and BAM it can alter, change, or end lives.

I saw this week that the Honolulu city council voted to make it illegal for pedestrians, PEDESTRIANS, to use cellphones while crossing the street! Yes, we all know it’s come to this. The city council will dole out fees “between $15 and $99, with the amount rising to a maximum of $500 for multiple offenses. The legislation (bans) the use of cellphones, tablets, handheld video games, digital cameras, pagers and laptops (LAPTOPS?!?!) while walking in a public right-of-way.”

Bravo Honolulu, HI city council! Too bad that you don’t have anything around Hawaii to keep people’s attention other than their DumbPhones.

We all know people who are actually addicted to their DumbPhones. I can honestly say that thankfully, I am not one of those people. I know, I know, something tells me IF anyone is reading this they don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. My piece of advice to those who are, would be to think of leaving your phone aside for hours at a time as a reward for yourself in the future. Think of it as an exercise in delayed gratification. It will give you a little something to look forward to as you schlep through your mundane daily tasks.

That’s how I look at it anyway. Just think of what the algorithms will have cooked up for you the next time to pick up your phone! Yippee!

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 38 – 7:50pm

contrac- tors they were not.

Ran across this story the other day, and well, I’m not sure what to think about it. Apparently, Sylvia and Jerry Lynn of the Pittsburgh, PA area were doing some “home repairs” one night in 2004. At some point in this process, Jerry thought it would be a good idea to use an alarm clock placed down the inside of a wall so he could “determine” where to place a TV on the other side?!?!

Home contractors, they were not. Anyway, somehow Jerry accidentally dropped the primed and ready to go-off alarm clock down an HVAC duct in the wall.

There it sat for the next 13 years, going off every night at 7:50pm.

Their story was picked up this month and a local HVAC contractor team came over and freed the trapped travel alarm clock. A single AA Rayovac battery had more than done its job for 13 years!

As the story goes on to say, Jerry and Sylvia decided to leave the clock set as is and placed it on their mantle to continue the 7:50pm madness in perpetuity.

But of course.