ook I am just as sick and tired of all of the television and movie remakes that keep coming out as the next guy. Initially, I, like everyone think the same things, “they” have got to be out of ideas because why else would they (Hollywood presumably) remake or recycle something like “Scooby-Do” or “Bewitched”?
Now to be fair, sometimes a good TV series or old movie is so well liked that fans would love to see it in an updated present day format with the cleanest and best definition of today. Yet some of those same fans can be disgusted with that approach thinking why screw with something that was so great in its day? It’s an argument that could go on and on. But one thing that I’ve decided is that the reason why EVERYTHING is being remade, relaunched, or re-booted isn’t due to lack of imagination (gee, some writers in Hollywood would be well served by signing up for my posts!). No, the reason for the recycling is that re-booting something means a new movie or series today automatically comes with a built-in audience that is guaranteed to watch it, talk about it, love it, or hate it. It’s a can’t miss AND it saves distribution companies money because marketing a re-boot is automatically easier and less expensive when compared to say, “Rust & Bone”.
Here’s some of the re-makes coming out in the next year or two:
- “Red Dawn” – What American male of any age WON’T go see this because they saw the first one or because their dad won’t SHUTUP about it? This movie has as much to do with the popularity of signing up for the military as the GI bill did.
- “Robocop” – This is a miss. It’ll be better now, how could it not be? And seriously, this kind of remake has no reason or guide from the first one to even qualify it as a remake. They’re ONLY using the name here.
- “Dirty Dancing” – This is blasphemy. It was a period piece when it came out and was terrific. One of the leads has passed. This is a terrible idea.
- “The Bodyguard” – This is the single worst choice in the history of film. There’s no projected release date or proposed actors yet, probably because the producer hasn’t found anyone willing to perform theatrical suicide for such a terrible choice. Not only has Whitney just passed, but her co-star Kevin Costner gave the greatest celebrity eulogy I have ever seen. Spot on.
- “Dred” – Yeah, I’m not sure they’ll even get any marketing help from the remake aspect on this one anyway. Miss.
- “All Quiet on the Western Front” – This could have some success if only because it’s rumored to have Daniel Radcliffe and it’s a way to get modern day young people to experience all time great works of art from literature and film.
- “Annie” – Starring Willow Smith. That will be huge and this film has already had so many re-boots who doesn’t think that’s part of the movie’s structure?
- “Point Break” – Only because I got so little out of the first one, so I’ll give this a try. But, this is the 2nd Patrick Swayze movie on this list. Hmm?
- “Child’s Play” – Yeah that one with the murderous doll named Chuckie. I have no words.
- “War Games” – This could be pretty cool with today’s technology over a Tandy 1000
- “The Birds” – I’m not sure about this level of historic film replicationaa.
- “Lethal Weapon” – I see no way that remaking the 1st movie in 3 or 4 part series makes any sense. Stupid.
- “Scarface” – Again, this was a period piece showing characters in a place and a time. There’s nothing to be gained in disgracing this most quoted movie in popular culture today.
In summation, the remake wins the money game. If you’re an agent in a distribution company and you’re a movie to launch for distribution, “Red Dawn”, and your co-worker gets “Anna Karenina”, how fast do make a huge bet with them that their NEW movie may not out perform your lowly REMAKE?