MMeM, Vol.12 Issue 37 – Qualified to speak

…and solved NOW damMIT!

It wasn’t too long ago that Walgreens implemented shopping carts that were designed to eliminate their carts being stolen. Perhaps you’ve seen these nifty little creations. The basic idea is that if the cart rolls beyond a designated border of the store’s parking lot borders, then the wheels lock up. Pretty smart when you think about it. Aldi’s and other stores for years, have had the 6 foot tall metal bar sticking up out of their carts to deter theft and even the exit of the carts out of the stores in some cases.

But, there was a new patent recently that really takes the proverbial cake in my book. Now, I know it’s a real 1st World Problem and an unthinkable hardship to put a shopping cart into a designated cart corral after one has completed their shopping and unloading at their vehicle. What are we, animals? And then, to expect employees of retail establishments to come OUTSIDE and round-up all of the carts! Well, now we have GONE TOO FAR!

Sure, we’ve tried mechanization and robot assistance of the cart pushers, but even that has proven to be asking too much. Maybe, JUST maybe, asking human workers to go out in summer or winter weather in oxford shirts, ties, vests, slacks, and dress shoes is, oh how do you say, STUPID? Here’s a novel idea, how about stores allow the lowly cart collecting masses to dress in clothing that fits the job description of what they are ACTUALLY DOING? i.e., SWEATING?

But, NO. No, no, no, they are rolling out the next wonderful invention. Put aside cancer and heart disease. Collecting shopping carts needs to be solved and solved NOW dammit!

So, enter the recently submitted patent by Wal-mart for the self driving shopping cart. Wah-LAH!

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Note- Post submitted by a former grocery store cart pushing rounder-upper employee of the month! So, I feel as though I am qualified to speak on this topic. Thank you.

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Blogger, in search of humor, always. Writer of MidwesternMeditations.com, formerly hosted on Blogger.