MMeM, Vol. 8 Issue 5

Look Doc, I don’t want to rain too hard on your power trip parade here but I have to break it to you. There is a very good possibility that NO ONE is following your patient’s rooms request signs. Just a couple of tips, if I may.

The airlines tried this by claiming cell phones could interfere with the airline’s instrumentation and cause problems, including plummeting from the sky to everyone’s death. That didn’t work. The gig is up on that fib and it is now known among Urban Legend-istas as a “nice try”.

Next, I’ll bring you to cell phone use while driving. This was over before the ink was dry on the state laws banning talking and texting. Yeah, car manufacturers have already built in handsfree talking ability INTO CARS and don’t think hands free texting isn’t a month away. And, so the government-types had to adjust their tough laws and say, “Well, NOT within a construction zone!” Yeah, you got ’em there Barney.

But Doc, in your case what you’re doing is asking people to sit in a room with no windows, no radio, no TV, and no Internet for upwards of 30-45 minutes, on a paper couch. Oh sure, you provide reading material which everyone is scared to death of because they are certain it contaminated with West Nile or eColi from the “Occupy Anything Protester” they crossed paths with on their way to the patient room.

Asking them to not have their cell phones on or in use is like setting a jar of Meth in front of a junkie and saying “Don’t touch this. I’ll be back in almost 1 hour.” Yeah, it’s not going to go well and neither is this no cell phone request while in isolation. It’s just not. You know it, and so do we.