How I haven't mentioned this before is beyond me. A few years ago I decided to move back home to central Illinois from Missouri where I had lived for more than 10 years.

I found another job in Illinois. When I resigned from my employer in Missouri, they graciously offered to find a location in central Illinois so I could continue to work for them. I was touched. Maybe, a little bit too much.

As a way to show my appreciation, I developed a ridiculous campaign to express my gratitude. I'll spare everyone most of the details and dive right into the most embarrassing aspect.

When I moved to Illinois, I decided I would get some kind of vanity license plate that made a subtle reference to my valued employer. As I was working my way through the DMV, I said that I wanted to order vanity plates. The gruff and highly insensitive state worker said that I had to put down 3 choices. I froze. I couldn't think of anything. People were waiting in line behind me and I started to sweat. I asked if I could take the form home and send it in later. Ms. Gruff said, "Nope". So, I jotted down 3 possibilities.

I drove home and immediately began to regret my choices, IMMENSELY. I even called the DMV office and spoke to someone that sounded like Ms. Gruff and begged that she remove my #1 choice. "If I have time and I can find it, I will but I'm not gonna guarantee it.", was her reply. Ouch. So began the 30-60 day wait for the plates to arrive. What would I get? Finally one day, the new plates came.

Of course, it was ridiculous. I now had to frame every conversation with anyone about theses plates with the aforementioned story above. It was humiliating. One person tried to make me feel better by suggesting that people would probably think I was some big-wig with the corporation! I said, "Truuue...until they consider that I'm driving a '98 Chevy Tracker!"

Well, I kept the plates for more than a year. Then I bit the $100+ bullet and applied for new plates when I traded in that corporate big-wig vehicle for another car. I've since come to realize that so many of my shenanigans end with bills in excess of $100.

I wear myself out.


Subscribe to Midwestern Meditations eMagazine by Email

Have you ever wondered where all the people living in these McMansions everywhere work? I mean, how are so many people able to afford such luxurious accommodations these days?

I'm not a hater, I've just been curious about this for a long time. Everywhere you look there is another high-end super-deluxe subdivision being constructed. More power to those that can afford those houses, but seriously, what do they do to earn a living?

Well today, I had a revelation. The answer has been right in front of me all this time. In fact, the answer keeps popping up in new places almost every day on every corner in America. Want me to let you in on the answer?

Walgreens. That's right, I said it, Walgreens. Walgreens stores are opening up faster than 12-packs on a NASCAR weekend.



And, all these Walgreens have one thing in common. Pharmacists.



Pharmacists make some pretty good coin. In fact, PharmacyNow.org estimates that the median income in the U.S. for a pharmacist today is $88,388 and for the Director of Pharmacy it's $102,538.

I'll admit, it's still just a working theory but I think the mystery is solved. What we have are well-to-do pharmacological colonies popping up all over the place. I should have been a pharmacist. Well, not exactly. I mean, didn't these people ever see It's a Wonderful Life? Every time I'd hand a prescription to a customer I'd be like, "Uh, wait a second, let me look at that again. Heck, I better re-count these too."


Subscribe to Midwestern Meditations eMagazine by Email

Look, I don't care who you are. Writing a capital letter "N" upside down is hard.








...let alone if you have to write it upside down, with spray paint, over a busy highway, on a rusty train viaduct, in the middle of January.

Someone needs an "Easy Button".

Honestly, I think I have trouble doing that with a pen on a piece of paper right in front of me...while I'm right side up.

Subscribe to Midwestern Meditations eMagazine by Email

Seriously, when the Mini-Cooper has to have its top down for you to clear it on landing, you MIGHT be approaching too low!

This picture was taken in Saint-Barthélemy, or St Barts, in the French West Indies.

Unbelievable!

"Heads up!"

"FORE!"

Subscribe to Midwestern Meditations eMagazine by Email