MMeM, Vol. 13 Issue 47 – Thank you drone!

Again, I can’t say it enough,

So I’m not sure who to thank for this laugh, the person in the clip or the person(s) who posted it to YouTube.

Dateline: Western France during a castle tour. Thankfully, someone in the tourist group decided to bring a drone equiped with a camera. While touring the grounds of this particular chateau, the visitors found themselves posing for the drone that was flying around. Some chose to make funny faces and really ham it up for the camera.

Again, I can’t say it enough, thank you for all of the above.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 46 – Powerball was NOT 8

…relieved to HAVE NOT WON the LOTTERY!

Look, I don’t usually play lotteries as a rule. Every now and then, I’ll get sucked into the madness like everyone else. Take the MegaMillions and Powerball jackpots that are currently running at $393 and $356 million respectively. Just like the time last year when one of them got north of ONE BILLION I dropped a couple of dollars on a ticket or two.

I look at lottery like this, IF I am to buy tickets, don’t stand behind me because I am due. However with all of the reasons making that way of thinking legit to me, comes much of the anxiety that led me to the very reason for that belief.

To wit, the night of the last Powerball drawing that caused another rollover I had a MAJOR mental malfunction. I had both of my recent single MegaMillions and Powerball tickets in the visor of my truck. I was driving with the windows down trying to save money by not using the A/C and sucking down more gas. All of a sudden, a ticket whips past my face from out of the visor and out the window!

I quickly check the remaining ticket hoping it was the MegaMillions which had rolled over the day before. NO! It was the Powerball ticket! To make matters worse, all I could remember about this quick-pick ticket was that the Powerball was 8. I don’t consider myself to have a “lucky” number, rather 8 is my “favorite” number. What are the chances? What do I do? The drawing is at 10pm CDT tonight!

I didn’t turn around and look for the ticket in the road or roadside, but I debated doing so for about 15 miles. Rather, I worried with a sick feeling thinking about what to do if

  1.  the Powerball was an 8 tonight
  2.  the winning ticket was sold in IL

It was a long, sickening, hard, and harrowing night. Never, have I been so relieved to HAVE NOT WON the multi-state $300+ million lottery!

This is my world. My reality. My life.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 45 – All World Problems

You’re going to end up with both.

I remember reading a story about McDonald’s straws a while ago where fisherman were up in arms about changes to the striping colors on said straws. Apparently, when cut into 1-2″ lengths the slightly thicker, wider plastic straws from McDonald’s were being used to catch Spanish Mackerel with surprising success compared to other lures.

A CHANGE IN STRAWS LED TO PROBLEMS CATCHING FISH.
In a move that would have unforeseen, mackerel-related consequences, McDonald’s shifted their straw design in 1984 from a red-and-yellow color scheme to brown-and-yellow. The problem? Fishermen along the Gulf of Mexico had successfully used the original version to lure Spanish mackerel: Three lures could be made from a single sipper, and caught five times as many fish as any other lure. The new straws failed to attract any catches; McDonald’s dryly advised the distressed fishermen try Big Macs instead.”

That was a nice little story. This is not. Perhaps you’ve seen people at coffee shops are coming from them with drinks that have straws and they have placed their donut on top of the drink with the straw poking through? Yeah, I guess I’ve seen or heard of that too.

Well, as McDonald’s has continued its successful world domination, in Japan consumers there have combined these two “ideas” with whatever you can call this…

All of this McDonald’s straw craziness seems like 1st World Problems and idle mindlessness in the case of hamburger-strawing.

Then, there is the real world use of Spanish Mackerel fishing. I guess when you have SO MUCH of something, anything, even McDonald’s STRAWS, you’re going to end up with both.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 44 – Stubborn

…the list goes on and on.

Well it finally happened this month. Illinois passed a budget for the first time in nearly 3 years. Unbelievable. Like I said before, suddenly things started to break loose and stand still all over again as poorly oiled malfunctioning machines will do.

How bad did it get in a state without a budget for that long? In short, “no budget” was the standard pat answer for every unresolved issue from neighborhood associations to matching federal funds for education.

Everything and everyone suffered to some degree without exception. Elections came and went with campaign rhetoric and promises to pass budgets, cut spending, save spending, raise taxes, cut taxes, marches on the capital, bomb threats, Christmas decoration cancellations, very near junk bond rating for the state, and the list goes on and on…

Hopefully some of the state’s finer treasures survived the hardships. Take the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum for example. Surely it’s not in disrepair and shuttered…

Yeah, again, it was a tough 2 1/2+ years!

(…ok I jest, this isn’t actually THE Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum, but it felt like it was headed here at times. Again, glad that’s over.)

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 43 – Yup. NOPE!

Burn out and fade away…

I can never decide which is worse, how long annoying social media viral no-talent no-hit wonders survive or how many late comers from the masses fan the flames after the blaze appears to have subsided.

Unfortunately, I am referring to the “cash-me-ousside” girl from Dr. Phil subsequently, making myself one of the latter. However, I do so under the guise of reporting on another offender of late-comers. In my defense, I commented on cash-me-ousside girl a while ago.

Back in March of this year it was a church who used her phrase-ology on their sign that was rather nifty. Not really sure what Arby’s is trying to say with this one, but whatevs…

Her first appearance on Dr. Phil was in September of 2016. Let’s hope this marks the last of her celebrity and that her $30K appearance fee tours all burn out before the 1 year anniversary. Just burn out and fade away…