MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 33 – The CLAW

How, was it never my little brother?

Now I know, everyone has gone through spells where they can’t pass up wasting coins on “THE CLAW” machine. You know, you’re probably at a restaurant waiting for a table or you’re shopping with your mom for school clothes, for college, whatever. Anyway, these rip-off robots are too enticing. Oh, and put one in a bar? Forgetta-bout-it!

If you’re anything like me, my friends, or siblings you’ve even gone so far as to judge and grade machines on the level of compacted-ness of the pieces of crap in them. How well did the vendor pack the “plush” stuffed toys down into the cube thus making them nearly impossible to pull up with the equally worthless piece of crap “claw-crane”? Sometimes you’ll spot a few outliers that other suckers came close to retrieving but failed, in so doing leaving them in prime pick-up positions.

Then again, even supposed grown-ups such as ourselves would gaze into these third-rate torture devices and dream about having our way with the little plexiglass fortress. No? Well, we weren’t the only ones. Seems this poor little 3 year old boy, Jamie, found himself in this crane toy machine and his 5 year old brother, Shane, was there to witness it. My thanks to the father for posting the pics and video for me to live out my little childhood dream.

The surprising thing to me about this story is, “How, was it never my little brother?”

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 32 – Worst method EVER!

keep me shying away from scales.

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best grocery shopper in the world. Much of this shortcoming is my own fault and the result of poor planning and failure to make lists, think ahead, shop when I’m not hungry, etc. However, this isn’t all my fault. For example, why do grocery stores insist on selling items “by the pound?”

Who are they, high level drug dealers? You cannot tell me when you are standing at a meat counter or the deli counter that you know what a pound of pork sausage will end up looking like or a pound of macaroni salad. What’s more, they know this. They know that you (ME) are a moron. They do this because it’s exact, for them.

It all snowballs into the healthier eating paradox of shopping, preparing, cooking, and attempting to eat better. Well, if this “by the pound” method of selling food is so hotty toddy why don’t restaurants and fast food places do it to try to seem more established and respectable like their grocery store counterparts? “Yeah, I’ll take a pound of french fries and a 1/3 pounder thickburger…” Oh, ok I stand corrected, kind of…EXCUSE ME!

This story got me thinking about this topic the other day. A guy tried to buy a small container of mashed potatoes from Whole Foods for lunch one day and when he got to the check-out his side of mashed potatoes came to, wait for it…. $14! It wasn’t his fault. Who can carry weight-to-size measurements in their heads for the plethora of items in a grocery store? No one, at least most males that I’ve ever known anyway.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me and this guy at Whole Foods, but my fear of accidentally mis-purchasing by price-to-amount-measurements-volume-calculation will always keep me shying away from scales.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 31 – WELL, that isn’t SpACIAL?

WELL, that isn’t SPECIAL

Wouldn’t you think that a Satanic Temple based in Massachusetts would have something better to waste their GOD forsaken (LITERALLY) money on than a billboard in north Texas?

This billboard went up in March of 2017. When contacted by local media, the Satanic Temple said their reasons for the billboard’s placement were in response to an assistant principal’s corporal punishment (spanking) in 2012.

Hmm, either this “temple” is working through quite a backlog or recently came up with a misguided statement for which they wanted an even more undeserving target.

Yeah, I have Dana Carvey as SNL’s Church Lady running through my head right now too. But, the only problem is, yes, it actually is SATAN!!!!

Just how many new members do they get from this? What kind of recruitment number does this campaign net for the Satanic Temple? Oh to be fair, I’m sure there are parents upset with schools for spanking their snowflakes, but even them, EVEN those snow machines aren’t calling THE SATANIC TEMPLE for help and refuge!

No, I refuse to believe they got any calls from non SATAN believers. Perhaps it was all a PR move to show that no, they weren’t out to recruit and train more disciplinary minded assistant principals in order to aid them with more sadistic corporal punishment. IF that was in fact the purpose of this ad, then, well-played  Satanic Temple, well-played indeed.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 30 – Mannequin Challenge = The Happening?

…freeze in position and then…

Mannequin Challenge. Does everyone remember that? From Wikipedia- “The Mannequin Challenge is a viral Internet video trend where people remain frozen in action like mannequins while a moving camera films them, usually with the song “Black Beatles” by Rae Sremmurd playing in the background. The hashtag #MannequinChallenge was used for popular social media platforms such as Twitter and Instagram. It is believed that the phenomenon was started by Dr. Dre in Kush’s music video in 2010. The initial posting has inspired works by other groups, especially professional athletes and sports teams, who have posted increasingly complex and elaborate videos.”

Perhaps you can remember just how huge this all got as everyone got in on this bit. Throughout 2015 and well into 2016 teams, organizations, artists, huge gatherings of people, any major events sponsored a “Mannequin Challenge”.

Well, separately I’m a fan of M. Night Shyamalan’s movies and TV shows. From “The Sixth Sense“, “The Village“, “Unbreakable“, to “Signs” and “Wayward Pines“, they are all great experiences that promise to deliver on nothing that you’d ever expect. Well, a somewhat lesser known one of his works is “The Happening“, where people suddenly freeze in position and then, well, I don’t want to ruin for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I don’t think, you’ll look at the #MannequinChallenge the same way ever again.

MMeM, Vol.13 Issue 29 – Do you hear that?

Oh wait, maybe you can’t hear…

When you wake up in the morning, maybe you find it soothing to walk out onto the deck in your backyard. Perhaps you take a few moments to savor your morning coffee or tea while surveying your landscaping and the neighborhood of your subdivision.

You might even take in the chirping birds in the dew draped trees surrounding your home and your neighbors’ houses.

Oh wait, maybe you can’t hear those sweet songbirds OVER THE SOUND OF THE IDLING PETERBILT SEMI TRUCK PARKED NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE as it has been off and on for months now!

No? Just me? Maybe it’s just another Midwestern thing again?